Feel Again
by tattedbeauty231
Summary: "I reach out trying to love but I feel nothing. Yeah my heart is numb but with you I feel again" After the war everyone is having a hard time adjusting, Ron and Hermione help each other through emotional hardship to get their lives back.


Ron lay in his bed is face tear stained as it was most of the time lately, things have been hard. He didn't want to feel like this, he hated this depression that had enveloped him after the Battle. The constant reminders of the people who died, his brother especially, he didn't know how Harry could deal with all the press asking questions all the time. It was one month since everything had ended since Voldermont was finally gone for good, since his brother died. Hermione had been away trying to find her parents and regain their memory and there was no telling when she was going to be back. That's all Ron wanted was Hermione back she always knew what to do. There was a soft knock at his door he didn't say anything knowing who ever it was would let themselves in eventually.

"Ron dear dinner is ready" his mum said opening the door looking at him. She tried to put on a good face for everyone but it was no secret she would cry herself to sleep every night.

"I'm not hungry" Ron said faintly rolling over so his mother couldn't see his face.

"Come on dear you need to eat something" she insisted, Ron didn't reply he really wasn't hungry.

"If you're going to be like that then I'll bring you up a plate you can eat when you wish" she said as she closed the door. This had become a habit of his mother bringing him up food to eat, Ron didn't mind mostly because he didn't want to see anyone. He didn't know how to deal with his own feelings let alone the rest of his family's. Ron spent most of his days in bed sometimes he would venture downstairs when he knew no one was home, basically just avoiding everyone. Charlie and Bill had both came to talk to him claiming that he was being selfish but Ron didn't care this is what he needed to make sense of everything. Harry even made a visit telling him that he needed to at least see the family once but Ron refused yet again. He eventually drifted off to sleep again which is how he spent most of his days until another knock at his door awoke him. His eyes flew open, the sun had already set and his room was dark.

"Come in" Ron said his voice hoarse from not using it he looked around trying to see the time, it was eleven thirty. The person knocked again,

"Come in!" Ron said aggravated getting up from the bed to open the door, and their stood Hermione looking up at him with her wide brown eyes. She looked upset as if she may have been crying; Ron immediately hugged her pulling her into his room and closing the door. As she hugged him tightly he felt her small frame begin to tremble he pulled away looking down at her as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked Hermione wiped her eyes taking a deep breath.

"My parents.." Hermione croaked out before starting to cry again Ron pulled her into a hug.

"What Hermione? What happened?" Ron said Hermione pulled back trying to regain herself again before she spoke.

"I couldn't reverse the spell…there gone..." Hermione said before bursting out into tears again throwing herself at Ron who held her tightly. Ron had just lost a brother; he couldn't imagine losing his whole family.

"I'm so sorry Hermione I'm so so sorry" Ron said rubbing her back in comfort as she continued to cry. This may have been the reality check Ron needed that he had been being selfish this past month isolating himself from his family during their time in need.

"I should've known, it was always a risk…I just thought I'd be able to…to do it" Hermione said trying her best to calm herself of tears. She looked up at Ron studying his face for the first time, his eyes were blood shot as if he too had been crying, his face unshaven, his hair grown out and a mess.

"How are you?" Hermione asked sensing that Ron wasn't doing well either. He shrugged, feeling as if his problems meant nothing now.

"Ron?" Hermione pressed giving him a look.

"Horrible" Ron said flatly letting his eyes drop to ground.

"I'm sorry how's everyone else doing?" Hermione asked Ron shrugged again.

"No idea…I um don't really leave my room" Ron said sitting on the edge of the bed putting his head in his hands guilt beginning to wash over him.

"Ron...you need to be there for your family" Hermione said joining him on the bed.

"I know!" Ron snapped.

"Fuck Hermione you think I don't think about that every day! I just don't know what to do! I can't feel anything anymore but fucking emptiness" Ron blurted out, not knowing what to do with his feelings inside him.

"And now I just feel like a fucking prick sitting here while you just lost your family and I still have one….just a brother short" Ron said getting angry at himself getting up from the bed as he began to pace. These harsh words made Hermione tear up but she tried to be strong.

"Ron were both going through some shit, you have every right to grieve! But you can't just avoid your family when they need you most!" Hermione shouted.

"I know Hermione! Fuck!" Ron shouted hitting his fist in the wall out of frustration.

"Ron I didn't come here to fight, that is the absolute last thing I want to do…I just need you" Hermione said looking at Ron with sadness and want her big eyes looking up at him. Ron walked toward her closing the space between them taking her face in his hands and kissing her with everything he had letting all of whatever feelings he had left in him pour into her. She kissed back wrapping her arms around his neck pressing against his body. He pushed her back making her knees buckle and fall on to the bed, a small sad smile played on her lips as she looked up at him he smiled back taking her lips in his has he climbed on top of her. Their hands explored each other's bodies; Ron slipped his hand up Hermione's shirt as he touched her firm breast. She let out a small giggle, as she smiled against his lips. Hermione took the edge of Ron's shirt pulling it up over his head, she took in his body that was once lanky and now built with muscle he was skinner than usual since they lost a lot of weight looking for the horcruxs. Ron looked down at her with lust in his eyes, following her lead he took her shirt off exposing her white lacey bra it was simple but sexy. He kissed the curves of her breasts making his way up to her neck as he began to suck at a sensitive spot she let a moan making Ron go crazy. She reached down to his pants undoing the button on his jeans. Ron's head shot up looking at her in question, this hadn't been something either of them had experienced.

"Hermione…what are you…" Ron asked trailing off looking at her.

"I think you know what I'm doing" Hermione whispered as she kissed him hard biting his lip. She continued to pull down his pants until eventually they fell off leaving him in just boxers. His arousal pressed up against her leg, there wasn't any hiding it anymore. He reached down for her pants line looking up at Hermione who nodded; he slipped his hands down between her legs rubbing her sensitive spot. She threw he head back letting out a moan, the fact that Ron was making Hermione feel this way turned him on even more. He took her lips in his, as his kept his hand rubbing against her.

"Ron…please" Hermione pleaded against his lips, Ron stopped instantly he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Are you sure?" Ron said pulling back looking into Hermione's eyes, she stared back and nodded. She reached into his boxers pulling out his hard member, just Hermione's touch made Ron whimper. He pulled down Hermione's pants fully positioning himself over her,

"You ready?" He asked looking as at every move in case she changed her mind she nodded again.

"Yes" she said Ron slowly entered she gasped gripping his shoulders, Ron moaned immediately at how good it felt to be surrounded by her tight walls.

"You okay?" Ron asked making sure he wasn't hurting her.

"Yes..just go slow…at first" Hermione said trying not to be embarrassed, she knew from stories she heard from her friends that the first couple thrusts always hurt but she was promised it would it get better. Ron slowed pumped in and out of her as Hermione began to relax with each thrust until she could finally have him enter her comfortably. She brought her legs up higher wrapping them around Ron's hips wanting him deeper as the pain became pleasure.

"Faster" she said breathlessly, Ron obliged as he began to pumped faster into her his threshold was coming soon he knew that he wasn't going to last much longer. Hermione began to moan softly turning Ron on even more.

"Fuck Hermione…"Ron said breathed as he tried his best to last.

"I'm gonna cum" Ron said through moans and with that he finished with one final thrust, collapsing on the bed next to Hermione.

"I'm sorry" Ron said once he caught his breath, Hermione rolled over looking over at him in question.

"For what?" Hermione asked nervously.

"I know that you didn't…you know finish…" Ron said embarrassed, Hermione laughed

"It's okay most girls never do their first time" Hermione explained, another thing she had heard from her friends.

"Oh…okay…" Ron said reaching down for his boxers as Hermione put her pants back on.

"Practice makes perfect" Hermione said simply Ron laughed and nodded. Their unstable emotional states that were lifted in their moment of bliss seemed to come crashing down on them like a bag of bricks. Suddenly there was tension, as if what they just did was wrong. Hermione sat at the edge of bed as Ron stretched out silence fell between them before Hermione finally spoke.

"Ron…um would you mind if it stayed…I don't really have any-

"Of course you can always stay here" Ron said cutting off Hermione not wanting her say the painful words that were killing her the most. She curled up next to him on the bed as she drifted off to sleep quickly, Ron watched her.

He couldn't help but think they were doing things backwards that they just rushed into sex before even going on a date, simply because they were both emotionally broken. Though Ron had to admit sex was a great distraction to this emptiness he felt, it filled the hole for the time it lasted. But how long would they be able to keep this up before sex felt like nothing too? Ron didn't want to think about it anymore he just wanted to go numb like he always did.


End file.
